It’s Not Really You, It’s Me

The greatest challenge is not the act of admitting when one is wrong , but looking in the mirror and realizing you are responsible for your outcomes in life. It’s easy to shift the blame and say “but they shouldn’t have” or the infamous “they hurt me” line. Ironically being hurt, misused, mishandled, and/ or being violated is inevitable. Not saying it is excusable but you are responsible for your response, lack thereof, and reaction. I can hear you now but I was nothing but good to them. That very well may be true but your perception may be skewed in that you still played a part. We all do and always will.

September 4th I turned the big 33. I spent the day before my birthday reflecting as I do every year prior to my day of celebration of life.I thought about the very few people I call friends, my kids, my current position in life, goals, family, and all that transpired that year. This time, however, instead of looking at the roles others played I chose to zero in on myself. You see there was a few times I didn’t communicate in an effective way, if at all. I have a habit of shutting down in hopes of trying to control my emotions. I also realized in some cases I set myself up for failure by not trusting what the Lord showed me and doing what he told me to do specifically. Basically in a nut shell I found that when I broke down my role in every situation good and bad that I was responsible in the outcome.

To me one of the greatest travesties in life is being a victim and not acknowledging the fact that you are responsible for the cause and effect in your life. How so you may be wondering? It’s all quite simple to be honest. You will receive what you have put out, and the measure in which you measure will be measured unto you. At one time or another we all stand on the opposite side of that which we condemn. We also do things and say things which are considered trespasses against someone. The same grace we want requires us to first admit and evaluate ourselves in any and every situation. Then it is on us yet again to decide to remain the problem or change and become a solution. Christ showed us the way along with taught us. For you see it was by his works, deeds, character, discipline, and etc. that showed the disciples how to conduct themselves and made them ACCOUNTABLE of their actions towards all. You can’t begin to invoke change until you change you and how you deal with things in the fire. For it is in the fire you are formed and who you are truly emerges. You can’t change anyone around you, nor can you redo anything, but you can change you and that’s where it all starts anyhow.