Have you ever sat down and really thought about when you leave this earth, what you will be leaving behind? You know most people talk about the wealth they want to leave to children. I’ve even had some people tell me they want to leave a legacy behind. You know their work will continue long after they are gone. That simple question, what you want to leave behind is definitely a loaded one. One could only hope that they leave something worth being continued.
Today started off so great. When I woke up i fixed strawberry cinnamon rolls for my kids for breakfast. Turned on my Keurig and got my cup of joe (like who can really function without that liquid gold anyway right?). I sat and read the Word some and allowed it to saturate and consume my mind as i swirled my coffee in my cup, thinking about ways to apply what I just read. Long story short this morning started of PERFECT. I sang ,talked to my kids ,and swayed my hips to the beat of my music blasting through my iPhone. Again, I purposed in my heart and mind today was going to be a PERFECT day. I got dressed and got to work with a smile on my face. I made sure I greeted people especially those with the early morning “stank faces” as I like to call it. You know the ones who think life sucks at 8 am, and their face is screwed up and you know their breath is tart from not opening their mouths to return your hello. Yeah I greeted the bitter bugs too, because I just knew today was going to be what…. say it with me PERFECT!!!!!
Someone once told me don’t get to comfortable because you will get caught slipping. Yeah well I was minding my business that pays me (and well I might add) and excited about life then BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m going to my car to get in and what do i see???( Yes I’m a little dramatic and ya’ll gon’ feel my pain ,hence all the question marks *insert shrug*) Someone took it upon themselves to take a stick or something of the sort and wrote stupid on my less than 2 week brand new car!!!!!!!!!! Livid, I was that very much so. When I say I couldn’t think of a scripture to save my life but I most definitely knew my colors very well because RED was all I could see and yes it was vibrant and very vivid!!!! The only thing that kept me from stomping around yelling a few choice words was the fact that there were children around. Thank the good Lord for those rams (children) in the bush because baby I was ready to come unglued. I’m from Inglewood, CA and you gotta know the hood was ever ready to burst forth. I was ready to kick behind and take names and get the who’s and whys later. But i digress. So I inquired if they saw anyone around my car or anything like that and basically there was a name of a suspect given. Can you say my new place of residence would have been cell block C, because I was ready for war.
I know ya’ll are thinking what is wrong with this young lady ummm not the one who screams Jesus I love you. How dare she feel like that, well pipe down and keep walking with me, oh and yes I still Love Jesus with all of my heart. I’m a christian growing daily. But I have a long way to go before I’ve “arrived” and it’s not an excuse but God is working out the kinks in me. Anyways back to my day, after being jolted back to reality and realizing that orange jail attire or even pink (yeah that’s one of the colors here women wear in jail) is really not a good look for me today or any other day. So i took my mad self to where I was originally headed before my perfect day became not so perfect anymore. I took the necessary steps as far as reporting what occurred to the necessary people. I then came back home after stopping by Chick fil A because after all that honey I deserved a chicken sandwich AND a sweet tea with just a splash of lemonade light ice. I was no longer in the mood to cook so I used my free cheeseburger coupons for my kids and of course they were happy as all get out. Now in between time I reached out to some family and asked them to lift me up in prayer and told them what occurred. Let’s just say the prayer didn’t hit the ceiling because between them and my conversation I had with God on my way to drop off an order anger slowly left my body. In fact, I told Abba (God but it means father in Hebrew) that he blessed me with this car and he promised to have my back at all times. I don’t want to beat the person up and that he could just deal with it. I just pray for justice. Once, I made it back and my kids and I ate a few things occurred to me. Sometimes things aren’t nearly as bad as they appear to be on the onset.
As I was outside playing with my kids and some of my neighbors kids a few things dawned on me. Today was still perfect despite one little blemish. Let me tell you why, today I learned that I need to target my anger in prayer. In the same breath though, I also realized that I was not nearly as impulsive in my anger. Yes I got very upset, however, I didn’t immediately call anyone and lash out. I left the place where I first discovered the “hurt” because continuing to stand there and waiting for the suspect to show up is something I would have done a while ago. I intentionally went away and shifted focus back to the business at hand, completing an order. So the blemish is what was done to my car and yes I shed a couple tears but my attention was not soley on the issue at hand but the steps to properly handle the problem. This is a major accomplishment for me. I remember when I wasn’t calling or asking a sole to pray for me because I’m angry. I remember going to the offender’s house and politely knocking on the door and and telling them to step outside so I could whoop their tail up and down the street. I was known for having a razor under my tongue and could flip that bad boy out, I wish somebody would have tried to jump in and save the person I was fighting. Oh and if I lost I was coming back until I whooped you and good. Everytime I saw them I was ready for another round. In knowing how far I have come and that God has really been working on me…… I’m ready to shout!!!! The moment I wanted to condemn myself I was inspired to release through this blog. I came to share to the one who is saved and you have fallen short in this day, know that God still loves you and don’t you dare quit because you fell short, get back up. I’m reminded of the scripture that a righteous man falls seven times but gets back up. Your still saved and still given another chance to get it right the next time. Flaws and all you are still the apple of God’s eye. Nothing can separate you from the love of the Father!!! The Bible even says somethings he will deliver us from bit by bit. Breathe baby your still on your way. This is not a license to wallow in the opinion of people , sin that you indulge in, or even your own negative self talk, take the small victories and you use that plus what Abba shows you so next time you do even better. Today was perfect with the blemish and all. My night has been full of laughter and my kids even learned a few things. No need for revenge or to be upset God’s got this and i still have my freedom lol. In fact, if I do find out who did it , it gives me the opportunity to take the high road and show them what the love of God looks like. I won’t be angry or hateful but I will pray for them and be kind. After all the same has been done for me. So when I think of what I want to leave behind when I die the answer is simple. I want to leave behind the gems and nuggets that has gotten me through days like today. An example of how God will take a ratchet soul and purify and clean it up. The finished product being a sight to behold and encouragement to someone else. I just want to leave hope for the next person that they too will do and are destined for great things. Man doesn’t determine how great or worthy we are, our actions and persistence to yielding and allowing the father to grow us does. Until next time!!