Just Me

Often times the very things we have been waiting for scare us the most. I’m not talking about superficial things, but the very thing that is more precious than many even recognize. Being yourself. I remember in school people would try and belittle me. I was petite, wore glasses, loved to read, and thrived academically. What most had to study hard for I didn’t, it just came easy for me. Needless to say I was dubbed as a nerd and people would try me. Quiet as it’s kept my feelings would be so hurt and I was not a fan of myself even.I did not see the beauty in my uniqueness. I devalued the very essence of me and because of that I shrunk back from identity. Who I am was in direct conflict with who society, peers, and others said I should be. I lost sight of what love is and took on the connotation most have proclaimed it to be. The dreamer, loving, kind, poetic, wise little girl I was had been locked in a block buried underneath this monster and savage I created. How is it that the attritbutes we claim to hate and look down on are the ones that are accepted? People felt like this monster I was that fought, cursed, and spared not one soul was vicious but was received versus who I am. I am realizing that it was never me that was sick it was and still is them. I have learned that people want the worst version of you to feel better about their demons and short comings. I was never created to fit in with the majority, I set the standard that others would have to rise to meet. I could never not be my amazing self because that means I reject the God in me. I AM created in his image and bear his attributes. People will scoff and talk crazy but I AM a uniquely and wonderfully made woman. I have the right people around me to love and embrace everything that I am and everything that I am not.I guess in all these words what I’m saying is there is no on worth not embracing me for. The agony of rejection from self and living in another’s image is too hard and taxing. It’s hard to win in life in someone else’s armor. Being free means to be me. I am free to dance and sing loudly in the stree when my jam comes on, I am unashamed of rocking my natural hair with it’s nappy roots, and I am free to eat avocados while watching one of my favorite movies Cry Baby. I am me and that is and will always be Amazing! (Written by me on April 22,2020 on WIX)

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